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Wait just a second, there, skippy. I saw you glancing at the dessert menu. I saw how you were about to break your new year’s resolution just for a bit of chocolate cake with some artificially flavored icing. You really want to throw it all away on that? Come on, man, think before you do anything stupid.

Okay, now that we’ve had time to rationalize our decision, what are we going to do? That’s right – we’re going to throw away our new year’s resolution on something worthwhile, like a delicious cream liqueur!

Hey, not so fast! Did you really think we were going to order a Baileys on the rocks and leave it at that? What do you think this is, drink time with Old Greg? Forget that noise, Chavez. What we’re drinking tonight is a little African gem called Amarula.

Never heard of it? Well that’s just fine because after today, you’ll never forget its name. A South African beverage, Amarula drives its name and deliciousness from the fruit of the Marula tree. This particular fruit is a favorite treat for elephants, who would eat the fermented fruit from the ground and then stumble around all silly and inebriated. Now, who wants to be a drunk little elephant? You do!

So let’s have a glass of Amarula on the rocks. Yeah, I know – it looks like Baileys. You keep telling me that. Trust me, it’s not Baileys. Yeah, it’s got that beige, creamy look to it, and it’s smooth as silk, yes. The taste, however, is something else entirely. Just take a sip and let me know what you think.

Of course it’s good, you fool. When have I ever steered you wrong? The flavor’s sweet, with a hint of fruit. I couldn’t tell you what a Marula fruit actually tastes like, so Amarula may be completely inaccurate. That doesn’t matter to us, though, because it’s damn good!

Hey, hey, hey! Are you on your third glass? Come on, now. It’s only 8 o’clock and this thing’s 17% ABV is going to make you stumble around singing Hakuna Mattata. Ah, what the Hell… Have at it. You deserve it, you know? You kept your resolution for a whole two weeks.

Wait, you want to buy a bottle? No, it’s okay, really. You don’t have to buy me one, too. Look, you’re welcome, but there’s no need to thank me for showing you this drink. It’s what I do. Look, the next time we’re at the liquor store, we’ll pick up a bottle. It’s only around 17 bucks, after all.

Hey! Get off the floor, butt head!